The Imprint

Cause it’s trending on social media. Cause it makes you look like the main character. Cause it feels good to do something on your own. Cause Mel Robbins told you to. Cause you’re tired of waiting for other people. Cause you’re starting to enjoy your own company.

It’s fair to say that ‘going solo’ has become miles more popular than it has ever been. For the last few years, people have been eating alone, attending concerts solo, travelling alone and actually enjoying it. 

Whether it’s emerging because of its superficial appeal or a genuine, newfound self-love, 20-somethings are becoming more intentional with how they spend their time and who with. Most of us grow up with a deep desire to be accepted, have lots of friends, and come across as friendly and extroverted to all, which can be hard to shake off in adulthood. But people are breaking out of these supposed chains, quicker than ever before and really questioning how they spend their time. It almost feels a rebellion to do things alone in a society that praises couples and large groups of friends.

Not only is it apparent in social media, but the idea of solitude has been trickling through film and media for some time now, too. Whether it’s explicitly ‘solo’ films like Eat Pray Love or simply characters who choose a life alone, straying away from ‘traditional’ routes of life, we’ve been exposed to it more and more, which in turn normalises it.

At its core, doing something alone is simply the act of showing yourself that you are enough, that your company is just as valuable when it’s not being appreciated and admired by others. That it doesn’t require the validation of others, and is simply worthy. Not only does doing things solo boost self-image, but it also improves independence and takes you out of your mind and puts you into your body by forcing you out of your comfort zone.

As someone who’s grown up with pressing social anxiety, doing things solo has seemed daunting and bordering on impossible. But little by little, I have built a new narrative that isn’t too bothered by others’ thoughts of me and, importantly, the depiction I have of myself.

It started with going to cafes alone, having a solo meal and going to events, forcing myself to talk to strangers. But nothing could have prepared me for the depth of solo travel.

Consumed by life and other plans, I didn’t give myself time to think too much about my upcoming solo trip to Cyprus, but it finally dawned on me as I sat on the plane that this was going to be life-changing.

Off the bat, it was incredibly scary and unsettling- firstly because being a woman alone in a foreign country is daunting in itself, but also because I was left alone with my thoughts. For someone who mostly lives in their mind, I immediately sensed the overwhelm and quickly slipped into old habits. It was much harder than I had anticipated and had me doubting all the progress I had made, but I think this low is part of travelling solo.

After multiple teary phone calls with family and friends on the first night, I made a light plan for the rest of my time there, which is something I should’ve done much sooner in hindsight. It was quite freeing that my schedule solely depended on me, and forced me to think about what I wanted to do, reminding me of why I had come on the trip. By allowing myself to get excited about it, rather than being scared, my mind felt empty and content for the first time in a while.

Throughout the five days, a hope that remained consistent was my desire to be safe, and it reminded me how lucky I am because, back home, I am safe, loved and surrounded by family- something I had taken for granted along the way. It showed me how much I had started demanding from life. It is these revelations that convince me that everyone should solo travel, as without those realisations, we stay stuck in the rat race of modern life. My trip definitely ended on the high of knowing that I overcame my fear and stepped away feeling so much more confident in myself and my abilities.

While it was quite difficult, I would definitely do it again with some small tweaks!

So, here’s my advice to people thinking about booking that trip:

• Travel to a busy-ish city where there are a variety of activities and the potential to meet other solo travellers (I went to a quiet, coastal town, which is beautiful but maybe not the best place for solo travels)
• If you can, meet up with a friend to break up your time! Got friends in other cities and countries? Go there, explore for yourself and then catch up with them for a meal. It’ll give you a break from any anxiety or nerves (I met up with a friend and went to a pottery class!)
• Have a local base you feel comfortable in, e.g. a cafe, bookshop or restaurant (I found this cafe nearby on my first day and went every day whilst I was there, 10/10 coffee, service and vibes)
• Don’t be stupid: research areas beforehand, don’t stay out late if it’s getting dark!
• Take little activities with you e.g. book, travel painting pad or crossword book
• Make phone calls when you can, it’ll remind you of reality, forcing you to realise this trip will eventually end and so you should enjoy it while you can!

With some research and guts, solo travel is possible for everyone, so this is your sign to take that trip! Your future self will thank you ❤

Thank you for reading and I hope the next piece brings you back to The Imprint!